About the Artist

I was linked into a group DM.  I was put there by a very clever 23-year-old from Chicago.  She saw through you and wanted to expose you to everyone else. She created something so very powerful - a global alliance of women. We laughed at the beauty of it. We even named the day in your honour. February 16th- the day of the artist. Let us all learn from her, even you. You, too, can learn from this millennial from Chicago. She had your number.  

 I did too.  

 You were kind at first. You saw that I was hurting and had to know what caused me so much pain. You said you had to know why I sat there, every day, and wrote. “What are you writing?” you pried. I told you about her. I cried as I told you my pain. I read to you from my tattered journal in the coffee shop that fall. You were my first new friend after her death, after the death of my daughter. You didn’t look at me with pity because you didn’t know me any other way.  With you, I laughed again. Fuck! - that felt so good. You were at my wedding - gave tickets to the theatre as a gift. Over the years we stayed in touch - texts and coffee. We talked about life and art. It stayed that way until the day that I cut you out. Cold. Unforgiving. Deserved.

 I had your number too.

 I never thought about you again - not at all until this young, beautiful, smart millennial contacted me.  She contacted me and about 20 other women.  You see, you lied to her, manipulated her, treated her like an object.  Wrong girl, I guess.  Oops! When I saw the subject line I was confused.  It read ‘About the Artist.”  “About the Artist?” I thought as I opened it.

 Here’s a few things we all learned about the Artist:

• Firstly, we all learned your age.  You are fifty-three, not forty-five. Fifty-three. I knew that already, but I will tell you, it was news to some of the girls. A quick internet search of your work brought the millennial’s roommates to this fact.  Did you think that nudes were more likely to be acquired if you were 45? 

• We learned a few things about your preferences in the bedroom.  This, I wish I didn’t know but now that I do, I will tell you, women want NONE of the things you listed. NONE! Stop watching so much porn.  Fuck you and your bedroom antics – from all of us!

• You like to show your dick to these women. Why?  Why do you like to show your dick so much?  Put it away.  Send a pic of a literally anything else, anything else would do.  No one wants to see it.  No one! 

• You talk about yourself too much.  Try asking one of the many women you are courting how her day was.  Try it and listen.  I felt that way too, just so we are clear.  Our friendship reached a point where you were just exhausting.  I’d leave coffee and realize that you talked the whole time…about yourself.  

• You sent stock messages to these women.  They put screenshots of it in the chat.  ‘Good Mornings’ and “I’m thinking about you” sent out, multiple times to multiple women. They all thought they were the only one. You were busy, we all determined. Imagine how productive you will be now, now that they have all blocked and deleted you.  

Here’s a few things we also learned about the Artist:

• You’ve got some trauma. Your trauma is serious.  It’s big and I imagine it dictates a good chuck of your past.  I am sorry for your trauma.  You didn’t deserve that.  No one deserves that, ever.  

• You desire love – we all do. But to recieve that kind of love, you have to know how to give it. Work on that and you will be good for someone. 

• You have a good family who loves you.  I didn’t know that you had made the move overseas to be with them, but I truly hope that you are happy.  During our coffee-house days, you spoke so fondly of your sisters, I’m happy to hear that you have them near.

• You’re sweet – we all agreed upon that. You had all these women charmed. You made them all feel special.  Imagine if you took all that energy and put it towards getting to know just one instead the continual attempt to acquiring nudes from multiple.

• You are a talented artist – no one can take that from you.  You seek and appreciate beauty in the world, turning that beauty into inspiration.  You found that beauty in multiple women around the world.

 You found that beauty in a millennial from Chicago, the mother from Estonia, the makeup artist from New York, an interior designer from Toronto, and a blogger from your hometown.  You wanted to take from us all.  Perhaps you should take away a few lessons.  

 First lesson – don’t fuck with the millennial from Chicago.