Marry a man who:

-       Suggests picnics on beautiful summer days.  He may or may not help pack said picnic but the fact that he wants to find the perfect spot, set out the blanket, and enjoy the simplest foods with you outdoors means everything.  Meet him there – leave the dirty dishes in the sink, the laundry in piles, and help make it possible.  Help to pack the snacks, the water, and the blanket.  Put aside all that needs to be done and smile because he wants this with you.  Find the perfect spot under an old tree and marvel at nature together. Use this time to talk, but more importantly, to listen.  It was he, who invited you, after all.

-       Has strong arms.  They may need to hold you in the darkest of places.  Make sure those arms are strong enough to hold you but not so strong that they force you up before you are ready.  Make sure those arms will hold you until you are strong enough to do that shit for yourself.  My mama might also tell you that those arms must look good in a white t-shirt, and she’s not wrong.

-       Sprays you with the hose whenever he washes the car.  Spray him back.  Keep that boy inside of him alive as he’s fun and slightly unpredictable.  You’ll need that in the future when you are close to breaking, exhausted, run down, and overwhelmed with life.  Make sure he knows that he can always snap you out of it with his fun, boyish side.

-       Is up for adventure and isn’t fazed when things don’t go as planned.   Hold the hand and kiss the shoulder of the man who, after realizing it will take longer than 5 hours to drive 500 kms in Japan, laughs at the mistake and tells you to play DJ for the drive.  Kyoto will be worth it, he’ll say, and he will be right. It may take longer to get somewhere than anticipated so make the drive part of the trip.

-       Has a hobby.  On that note, get one for yourself.  Share in each other’s interests.  I know life is busy, but allow him the time to indulge in the things that fill his cup.  Pour a drink, plop yourself at the counter, and follow along as he teaches you the importance of each step in the beer making process.  Ask questions, be engaged, and most importantly, be present.

-       Sets goals with you.  Longevity comes in tiny steps and small victories.  Set these goals together with the focus on forward movement.  Eat better, swim more, more date nights, plan trips, save money, advance your career, the next car, the next house.  Work the plan all the way to envisioning your property in Hawaii when the kids are grown, and you both retired.  Celebrate goals reached and rework the ones that prove to be more of a challenge.

-       Loves you hard.  Make sure you know it, feel it, and believe in it with all of your heart.  Decipher between the kind of love that pulls too much from you, leaving you drained, and the kind that is a steady, constant feeling of comfort.  Choose the latter.